I want to write today about the unrealistic expectations that parents have for their kids. It seems that today good parenting is having your kids busy all day long. Not only that, they also have to be overachievers in every activity their parents register them. Personally, I do not agree. I think that what is happening is that many parents live a super active life and want their kids to live like them. In addition, that super busy life now follows them home in the form of a cell phone (hence the new that France came up to limit the expectations of employers to have employees on call 24/7). Therefore, in short, you see parents trying to live up to an ideal that is made up of many suppositions. They want to show ‘others’ that they are doing a good job without really thinking about what ‘a good job’ really means, nor taking the time to consider an alternative way. They don’t have time to stop and think about it, they’re too caught up on their own crazy ways. On top of these superficial reasons, most of today’s parents don’t know how to spend time with their kids anyways. They take them to the movies, but they’re not spending real quality time: they’re just sitting next to them in a movie theater. They drive them to their activities, but half of the time the kid is playing soccer /dancing ballet /playing an instrument, the cell phone screen sucks up the parent.

We are living times where we say we want our kids to be kids, but in reality, we are throwing them, without thinking, into a lifestyle that forces them to mimic adults. We see kids with smartphones, and schedules running from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. or later, a social life that takes them from birthday parties to concerts, etc. They look like tiny adults trying to keep up with a busy life full of entertainment and excitement. However, what lurks under the surface are very tired parents and very stressed kids. These kids don’t sleep the 12 hours they need to develop healthy habits and mental strength. Furthermore, they have to keep up with so many expectations ­–good grades at school, physical activities, artistic activities, having friends, etc.– in so many aspects of their life that by the time they’ll start university they won’t even know what they’re doing or who they’re doing it for.

I think we need to take a long, thoughtful look at how we are bringing up this new generation, even if it means to reassess our own way of life. Our speech about what we believe is right does not match our actions, and in some years we will see many disappointed parents looking at very lost and vulnerable young adults trying to figure out, both of them, where they went wrong and blaming each other for their misery.