How did we end up living the life we have?

I was on vacation not long ago and visited friends and family. I loved to take the time off my routine and leave my city to explore new places and meet new people. What I loved most was to see how other people live and realizing that my life could change at any time. There are many ways to change one’s life. You can move to a different city, like my friend did, or to a different country. You can just move from the city to the suburbs and that would change your life as well. You can also change your life if you decide to change your job. For example, if you work in a busy downtown like I do, you could get a job further away, close to a highway, or in a small town.

In my case, I often find myself feeling frustrated with the commute to and from the office or with the rush hour in the city. I get a feeling of being trapped. I guess that happens with any routine: it gives you a sense of security but at the same time it can become a prison.

I am someone that loves change and find it hard to follow a constraining routine. I would try to change little things around to feel I am free to do what I please. But, do I hate any routine or just the one I have now? I wonder… In fact, I know that because my current job is not what I want to do for a living it doesn’t help me to like my routine. Also the rigid structure of my kids’ school feels quite restrictive and asphyxiating. Coming back to the topic of today, I wonder how would I feel if I lived in a smaller city, close to the sea, where my kids could walk to school and I had my dream job (writer, of course)? Would I feel better with the routine? My point is that we are not in fact trapped. We can chose, always, what we want, and how we want to live. The thing is every choice determines the type of life we will have.

I know, it sounds terribly obvious, but is it really? Many times we just don’t think about the repercussions our decisions have on our lifestyle. I was there not so long ago: I was living in the suburbs and I thought I could commute back and forth to the city every single day of my life. And I did it for seven years, until one day I realized how much I hated it: only after I moved back to the city!! I had lived at least the last three years hating my routine every single day of the week and didn’t do anything about it. What happens is that many times it doesn’t depend only on us. Like I said earlier if you have kids you have to think about their school. If you are married, then both your jobs have to come into consideration, etc. My point is:

We can always change

It will take more or less time and creativity, but it is possible. Never let the prison swallow you because you will end up trapped and drowned in a horrible life waiting for your retirement to finally make the changes you didn’t make during your active years. And you know what? By the time you retire, you will be too tired to change, so you will convince yourself that it is not such a bad life after all… drowned! caught!

My take away from the past is that you have to take action and strive for the life you dream to live because you only get one life and it is happening NOW.